*Pour pickle brine on his head.
*Put his hair in curlers.
*Paint his glasses black and put them on him so he can’t see.
*While he is sleeping, use a sharpie to color his teeth black.
*Pierce his ears while he is playing video games.
*Tie him up and send him off in a hot air balloon.
*P.S. I wouldn’t actually do that.

One day Gig was walking,

BOP, BOP, BOP,

And met Vagon,

CLIP CLOP, CLIP CLOP.

They started a face-off!

GRR

Gig grew SLURP

And Vagon shivered in fear RATTLE, RATTLE!

Gig jumped into Vagon and knocked Vagon into a lake!

GLUMP!

Gig said, “HOO HOO!  Bye bye!”

I’m Talking Insane
(a thesaurus poem)

I’m talking insane!
I’m talking crazy!
I’m talking mad, lunatic!
I’m talking demented, deranged, berserk!
I’m talking paranoid, unbalanced, unhinged, mental!
I’m talking crazed, psychotic, maniacal, angry, foolish!
I’m talking insane!

I like cats and dogs
They are fuzzy and awesome
I have two kind cats

If I Were in Charge of the World
(a form change poem with thanks to Judith Viorst)

If I were in charge of the world,
I’d cancel forest fires, broccoli, and also making up snow days.

If I were in charge of the world,
There would be more cats, more ice cream, and lots of candy all day.

If I were in charge of the world,
You wouldn’t have any kind of insect.
You wouldn’t have work days.
You wouldn’t have giant lizards.

If I were in charge of the world,
Ice cream, cookies, and giant cups of egg nog
Would be a balanced meal.
All people would be cat lovers.
And a person who sometimes forgets to take a bath
And sometimes throws spaghetti all over their brother
Would still be allowed to be in charge of the world.

Chapter 3: The First and Best Friend

After the first day of school, Sarah was coming over every day. Leo had made a friend. Her friend was Sarah. Sarah was very nice. She liked to play lots of games. She went to church with Leo. Sarah was a best friend.

She lived two houses down the road. She played a lot with Leo. In fact, for example, she came over for lunch on Saturday. She would sleep over, then go to church with Leo and Leo’s family. There they would meet with Sarah’s family, and Sarah would go home with her family.

Tomorrow was Monday.

“Oh, no! I have my essay! I don’t like doing things that involve going up to the front of a class that has lots of people. Oh, well. I’ll have to do it,” thought Leo.

So the next day when Leo went to school, instead of the teacher saying to get out their math books, she said, “Now Leora Havestings will come up front and share her essay about plants.”

I hesitated, then walked up to the front of the classroom with a bunch of papers in my hands. I was scared, but then I looked at Sarah and started talking.

By the time I was done, everyone was staring at me in amazement. It looked as though no one had written as much.

I’m glad I looked at Sarah!

Chapter 2:  Life in the School

When we had gotten out of the car and been seated in our classroom, it was then that I started seeing what was around me.  I looked at the classroom–the teacher, the students, the desks, everything.  

Then the teacher came up to me and said, “Here’s your nametag, honey,” in a sweet voice.

“Uh, thank you,” I said in an awkward voice.

Just then the door opened and a girl with long brown hair that reached down to the middle of her stomach walked in.  I smiled and waved, trying to be friendly.  

She smiled back and walked over to the sea next to me and said, “Hello!  My name is Sarah.”

“Leo,” I replied.

Then I knew she would be my friend.

“Good morning, children!” said the teacher loudly, making me jump.  “Today is the first day of school, and I am very glad to meet you all,” continued the teacher.  “I know that you also are very excited too.  Today I have decided that you may choose your seat.  First, you can get out your math book and turn to the first page.”

After math, we did reading, handwriting, spelling, and history.  Then we got ready to eat lunch.  After that, I had a whole recess getting to know Sarah.  After that, we had art, that a read aloud.  

Now that was school.

Chapter 1:  Life in the Car

My name is Leo.  Or Leora.  I just moved to Florida from New York.  I am ten years old, and my dad is driving me to school right now, and I’m scared.  I feel like my dad is not all the way awake.  I’m also scared about school because I don’t know anyone there.

“Hey, Leo,” said my brother.

“What?” I said.

“We’re almost there.  Look,” he said.  

“Okay, fine,” I said, annoyed.

“Leo, look!” my brother shouted.

“Quiet down, kids,” said my dad.

“Fine with me,” said my thirteen year old sister.  “I don’t like to hear them argue.”

“I wasn’t arguing,” said my brother loudly.

“We’re there,” said my brother that was six and in kindergarten.

“I know,” said my thirteen year old sister named Sophia.  She liked to get to the point.

Now I will tell you everyone in my family.  First comes Dad, then Mom, then Jacob, who is in his second year of college, then Martha, who is sixteen, then Sophia, who is thirteen, then me, Leora, and I’m ten, then Myra who is eight, then Lily who is seven, then Jack and Mark, who are both six.  Only Sophia and everyone younger than her were in this car.  (Even if Dad is older than them.)